The other night, I was in turmoil within. I have recently surrendered to God, that I will stay single if He would have me, or marry if He would have me to. And shortly after I surrendered, God brought Thomas into my life!
You see for a whole year or two of my life I had been telling God that I would never marry, and this past summer He got a hold of my heart, through a novel I was reading and through friends (though unbenounced to them: Jessie La Fluer, Bethany Moore, and Julie Farrell J ). They influenced me not by their words ness. But by their example! I saw how surrendered they were to God, and envied that, and realized by their light that I was missing something.
But that is another story entirely, which I already wrote a note about entitled (unsurrendered heart). I just posted that one on my blog as well, so you can read if you would like the background to this post J.
Anyways, so I had finally surrendered to God in the area of marriage and singleness, and He blessed me with a relationship to Thomas.
And well the other night I was journaling to God, and just telling Him about some recent developments in my relationship to Thomas (no new news to God though!). And just pouring my heart out to Him.
All along Thomas and I have been taking different steps in our relationship. And we are now at a place where we are unsure as to where to go next, or even if God would have us continue on.
OH how I long to be able to continue on with Thomas, but you see I wanted it that night SO bad that I was not willing to give it up. God brought that to my attention, and I surrendered the relationship over to Him.
And the reason I did, the reason I surrendered, was because I knew that ultimately, even though continuing with Thomas is currently what my heart desires, that may not be what God desires of me. You see, God’s thoughts are not always our thoughts. Sometimes He leads and opens doors left and right, but at other times He still leads but shuts doors, that were once opened. And I knew that if it was not His will that we continue than it would ultimately be for my greater good that we not continue (Rom. 8:28).
You see we serve an AMAZING God, who always knows exactly what He is doing. He is not like some child on an anthill with a magnifying glass, killing ants at random, with no rhyme or reason. No He is amazing because EVERYTHING He does and allows to happen has a purpose! I mean sure we as humans have a purpose for doing everything we do, but you see not always do we have the best purpose for doing what we do! But not God! He can be trusted because He not only has a purpose but His purpose is best, there can be nothing better!
And while this is a good reason to surrender to God, because He will do all for my greater good, I was convicted this morning that it is not the BEST reason to surrender to Him!
I read in Psalm 105: 16-17
“Moreover He called for a famine in the land;
He destroyed all the provision of bread.
He sent a man before them—
Joseph—who was sold as a slave.”
This is obviously talking of the 7 year famine in the land of Egypt and Canaan during the time of Jacob and Joseph, the 7 year famine that Pharaoh dreamed of and Joseph interpreted.
And you might be thinking right now: “Okay Bethy, what in the world does this have to do with you and your surrender of relationship??!”
And may I reply by saying hold on, I am getting there!
You see God sent a famine, it states specifically “He called for a famine.” And as I stated before God never does anything without a reason, now sometimes He gives us the reasons, at other times they remain hidden in darkness, never to be revealed until heaven, and so this is cause for us to trust Him.
So we know that God called for this famine, and that He had a perfect reason for it. And during this famine He protected Jacob and his family by sending Joseph to Egypt. And God did not just send Joe there, no He equipped Him to go. We know from the account that Joe could interpret dreams and that he had many gifts that eventually were used later by God to protect His people and the people of Egypt.
You see not only does God have a plan, but He also equips us for that specific plan! WOW! We don’t even have to do anything other than surrender and obey, and even those two things are done by the very grace of God!
WOW! WOW! Sometimes I think, “yea I know how good God is! I know what He does, and has done.” And how quickly He brings me off that high place, and humbles me by surprising me and revealing Himself a bit more and stands back and chuckles at my bewilderment saying “Aw, Bethy…Bethy…Bethy! My prodigal daughter, how I love you! See how you thought you knew everything there is to know? And look my daughter, my prodigal, look how little you knew! And here I have reavealed a bit more, but remember that you are just barely scratching the surface!”
“But Father, when, when will I know you fully?”
“Only in heaven dear one! Until then stick to your task of getting to know me better, remember it is not about what I offer you, but who I AM, seek me out! Keep searching my face, I will reward your diligence, I will shine the light of my countenance on you!”
Now obviously I am not claiming some “charismatic” happening or anything, I have never heard God actually say those words, but it just seems that this is what He is saying to me each time He baffles me!
Anyways sorry for that rabbit trail…now where was I??? OH yeah,
So God equipped Joe for the job and sent Him down there as we read in Psalm 107:17a: “He sent a man before them—
Joseph.”
And who is that “them” there? Well if we read back through Ps. 107: 11-15 we find that it is Israel (I will allow you to read that for yourselves.)
Now you see God sent Joseph to Egypt, and it says that He became a slave.
“ He sent a man before them—
Joseph—who was sold as a slave.”
Now I don’t know personally what it is like to be a slave, but I know that it could not have been an easy thing!
How hard that would have been on Joseph. And it was not just this trial but he had many trials! And really just trial after trial: being thrown into pit/hated by brothers/sold into slavery/conflict with Potifar’s wife/put in prison.)
And we might be tempted to think “why, why would God do all this, allow this all to happen to Joseph, such a devout servant of God’s? Why would God allow this “famine” into Joseph’s life?”
And our first anwer would probably be the one I gave for surrendering my relationship with Thomas to God :Because it would be for the ultimate good of Joseph (me).
But I have been convicted that perhaps this is just the “milk” of what can be learned. That this is just a good reason for surrender, for trials, but not the BEST reason that God has in mind!
And you might be thinking “WHAT?! But we have always been told, ‘trials are for YOUR greater good.” And that is true but not the best reason for sending trials.
Let me recall to your attention Phil. 2:3-4
“Let nothing be done through selfish ambition or conceit, but in lowliness of mind let each esteem others better than himself. 4 Let each of you look out not only for his own interests, but also for the interests of others.”
You see life (not even my own life) is not about me! I have died to myself: so now I don’t live for me or even surrender for me, but for Christ who lives within me!
“I have been crucified with Christ; it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me; and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself for me.” Gal. 2:20
Thus my trials, my surrenders, my famines are not just about me! There really is a higher reason for the struggles I face (Joseph faced), the surrenders that I make, than just my greater good, just my betterment. Oh sure there is greater good for me in it, but perhaps this is just a benefit! This is just the milk, but there is meat to be found my friends!
A higher plain to be reached, a higher reason to go through struggles and trials, a higher reason to surrender than just because it is for OUR good as individuals.
You see Joseph’s troubles were good for him yes, he learned from them, but they were not just good for him, but for his brother’s, they learned a great lesson in that, and also his father and family in the area of food, and also the good of Egypt and really ultimately the good of ALL mankind (you and I today).
Because see if God had not provided a leader in Joseph, all of Jacob and his sons would have died. And perhaps that does not seem significant, but who came through their line? Jesus Christ did! If they had died their line would have died with!
So this famine ( or any famine you have been through or will go through) that you are going through is never just about you and your good, but rather about God and His plan and His glory! It is always so much bigger than we think! So you see I connect it now to my surrender. I surrender my relationship with Thomas to God now, not just because I know that it will work out for my good, but more importantly for the good of others and most importantly for God and HIS purpose and glory!
\For the many in the world, for God I endure each “famine” not just for me! So now I must press on in the grace and strength of God, waiting to see how He will lead in this relationship. Waiting to see what His purpose and glory is all about!
And thus I surrender now, not just because He will work it out for my greater good (Joseph’s greater good), or for Thomas’ greater good (Joseph’s family’s greater good), but for the ultimate good of others (EGYPT in Joseph’s case) and the awesome Glory of God and His purpose ( in Joseph’s case all of the World because of Jesus being able to come through the line of Judah who survived that famine!)
I pray that this has been an encouragement, and if you are going through a trial, take great comfort not only in that it is for your greater good, or the greater good of your family, but even higher reasons than that :for OTHERS AND GOD!
In everything (even trials) do ALL to the glory of God and everything is always to be done in JOY (Jesus Others You)!
Striving to keep it in perspective!
No comments:
Post a Comment