Pride sparkling in his eyes, my father brought the little bundle down to our level so we could see. “This is Joseph.” Krista and I were but four and two. Our little bodies swelled with excitement. Little did we know that we would have the privilege of repeating this very scene three more times! I have had many different reactions from others upon hearing that I grew up in a family of six kids.
Things like: “Never a dull moment” (They are right there…from making a sand box out of our couch, to climbing on our roof while dad was in a deacons meeting, to breaking windows, to making fun movies, to stunts like no one would believe!). Things like: “Aw I bet that was fun! Someone always has your back.”
What dreams my parent’s must have had for us! They longed to see us get along. I can’t imagine what it was like for them when the first fight broke out amongst us. It was most likely between Krista and I (there would be many to follow…to my shame). Most likely the fight was over a toy, or over the attention of our parents. How it must of hurt my parents to see us fight so. “They are sisters!”
I can still remember one of my dad’s favorite sayings “You are ___ (insert sibling name: Krista’s…Joe’s…Andy’s..Caleb’s…Breanna’s) best friend! You should not treat them like that!” It is a saying that I appreciated, and that he said so often that we all began to refer to each other as such: Friends (Still do!)
I would even tell my own friends that my best friends were my siblings, many of my friends said they had wished they could have that kind of relationship with their siblings. I always wondered why they did’nt…sure us Duffy kids fought (still do) but at the end of the day we always asked for forgiveness and did our best to mend the ways and call eachother friend once again.
Sibling rivalry… it happens…it is to be expected…or is it?
I could hardly contain myself. Focus Bethany, focus! You need to get this literature paper done! Right…yes of course…BUT how can I when I know Joshy will be here any minute with my valentine…my sweet lil pup..??!!!”
Moments later, I got the text I had been waiting for, telling me he was here and that I should come out and see her. I practically ran out of that library at faith! Once outside, under the light of the moon, I could see Joshy’s face beeming with pride, and with the joy of seeing my own face light up. He set the tote down and I rushed to it. Down inside was the cutest furball I had ever seen.
“Do you like her?”
“Oh Joshy, I love her!” I would have given him a hug, had we not been “on campus.” Lol. “Good, she is your valentines day gift.”
Joshy and I were elated!! God had already blessed us with a Siberian Husky (Joshy’s dog chief), and now here we were, blessed once again. This time with a little mini Aussie mix pup that was free! He brought her home and I fell in love with little Fiona (we wanted an Irish nameJ ).
She is all spunk, and has quite the little character about her. Timid around strangers, is her only downside J. She melts my heart!
The lady we got her from, had an “accidental litter.” Her mini aussie male got to her female border collie. So she gave all the pups away for free. By the time we had heard about it, she had a home for all accept Fiona (which was ironically the one I liked the best from the pics.).
Since we have been blessed with a farm, Joshy and I knew that we would want some good hardy “farm dogs.” So we told the lady that if anyone backed out on any of the others we would take just one more…little did we know what we were getting into!
A couple of weeks went by, we were really beginning to enjoy Fiona. I took her out to run at the farm any chance I could. It’s always fun to go to the back pasture and run down that big hill (reminds me of little house on the prairie lol) and watch Fiona speed past me!
She is also HUGE on fetch and so that was a joy as well! Oh and she loves chasing soccer balls, and I love kicking them!! Anyways, it was fun!
Then the day came when we were contacted by the lady we got Fifi from. She told Joshy that someone had backed out on taking Fiona’s sister, and asked if we wanted her. Joshy of course came to ask me what I thought. Now, I have always loved animals, but especially dogs in particular, what an amazing blessing to have a man who loves them just as much as I do.
Sometimes I wonder why from the beginning I have always had a fascination with dogs, and living in the country and farm life and hunting and fishing…God knows best!! He has had a plan all along…so thankful He is writing my story and not me!
Anyways, I said “yes” of course. I could see the joy light up in Joshy’s eyes. We will own two pups…sisters at that! “It’ll be like having twins!!” Joshy just rolled his eyes.
“Okay maybe not quite…this will be fun thought sweets! Two farm pups!”
If only we had known! He went to get her and brought her back. I loved her too. But as I got to know her, I loved Fiona a bit more, and Joshy began to love Alice more.
I was expecting Alice to look a bit different than Fiona, but Alice (also an Irish name) was night and day from Fiona. She not only looked different, she was different!
Where Fiona is lighter colored and looks more like an Aussie, Alice is much darker and looks like a border collie.
Fiona has a bit more course of a coat (not real course) but Alice is extremely soft. Where Fiona loves to play and is all “GO GO GO!” Alice is more of a cuddler, she would rather lay by your feet and have you pet her. Fiona is far more scared of the cows out at the farm and will only bark at them, Alice however, charges at them and runs at them like they are little chickens! So as you can tell, they were not cut out of the same mold!
But all that was okay. It would have been nice to have two different types of dog at the farm. It would have been nice to have Fiona the “go go go” and Alice the brave, and all their stark differences. I came to love them for who they were, enjoying their strengths and differences.
But they didn’t get along at all! We learned this early on. When we first introduced them their immediate reaction was to growl at one another. Not at all what Joshy and I had expected and even looked forward to. We figured that since they were sisters, and since they had not seen each other in forever, they would whimper and kiss one another and have some puppy play. It was kind of a huge let down to see their hair bristle, and watch them be so wary of one another. It was like they were judging one another and protecting themselves.
As time went on, we discovered that we could not feed them together. They began to fight over food. And not long after that they began to fight over us, and the attention we gave to each. Joshy and I were at such a loss as to what to do. We loved them both, we had plenty of food for both, plenty of love for both.
But they just would not stop fighting. It was awful! They fought so hard they would make each other bleed. Their fights would last for quite some time (until they ran out of steam to keep going).
It was sad and devastating…we just wished they would get along…we longed for them to just “get over it” and back down. They only had their puppy teeth, but were already doing damage. They were sisters…were they not suppose to love one another? Truth is they were fighting for dominance. For significance, they wanted to be more significant than the other.
Upon watching fight after fight, I began to be afraid to even spend time with them anymore, for fear that another fight would break out. I no longer looked forward to time at the farm because of them. It was just a mess! I was beginning to dread having them both! Something had to change. So we gave Alice to a really nice horse farm. She is a good herding dog, and will do wonderful there I am sure.
Someone on the outside looking in on this little story might think there is nothing to be learned. Or perhaps you have picked up on the obvious lesson of being wise in ones decisions. But what about the less obvious lessons? There are somethings to be learned here of not only our relationship with others, but with God as well!
Alice and Fiona were aiming as I stated before, for significance, for prominence above the other. They wanted Josh and I to choose one over the other. Alice wanted us to be all about her, while Fiona wanted us to be all about Fiona. They each wanted ALL the food (“leave no food for the other” mentality.) They wanted all our attention for just them (leave none for the other pup). They could not show love to one another (as we think they automatically should…being after all sisters!) because they were too busy trying to get to the top!
It was painful to watch, it was sad and it made me fearful to watch them fight. This friends is a picture of what it must be like for God Almighty to look upon the fights Christians with other Christians!!
If you are a believer, if you have accepted Christ as your Savior, you are now a child of God: “John 1:12 But as many as received Him, to them He gave the right to becomechildren of God, even to those who believe in His name.”
Romans 8:16 “The Spirit Himself testifies with our spirit that we are children of God,”
The World does not understand this bond with have with God:
1 John 1:3 “See how great a love the Father has bestowed on us, that we would be calledchildren of God; and such we are. For this reason the world does not know us, because it did not know Him.
If we are then children in relation to God, then we are then and therefore siblings of all saved people!! Is’nt odd how we just assumed tht Fiona and Alice would get along simply because they are sisters? Everyone who I have talked to about their fighting, agrees with me, they should get along, they are sisters!
God must think the same!
How it utterly must devastate Him when He sees us, His dear children, what He must think… perhaps He thinks “What ____ is fighting ____??! They are sisters (or brothers, or siblings depending upon the situation)…this should not be!” We think it odd when sibling animals fight; we think the same even when we see physical, blood related humans fighting! How much the more should we when SPIRITUAL SIBLINGS FIGHT!
Christians fight, we have all seen it (and have most likely had our share in the spiritual sibling rivalry). We Christians fight other Christians for many different reasons. Over where we sit at church, over what music should or should not be played in church. We fight over the color of the carpet for pete’s sake!
We all know and have known these things. But what it can boil down to, is often exactly what Fiona and Alice’s boiled down to. We all want to be significant; we all want everything (nothing left for any other but us). It started at Satan’s fall (wanting to be better than God) and has trickled down to every part of creation! We want the lime light! We want our way, or the highway!
These desires drive us, they sit on the thrones of our hearts, and we all know that what is in our hearts comes out! God through the writer James, the brother of our Savior Jesus Christ, tells us exactly why we fight with others:
“What is the source of quarrels and conflicts among you? Is not the source your pleasures that wage war in your members? 2 You lust and do not have; so you commit murder. You are envious and cannot obtain; so you fight and quarrel. You do not have because you do not ask. You ask and do not receive, because you ask [c]with wrong motives, so that you may spend it on your pleasures.” James 4:1-3. We fight because we have wrong desires. We either desire the right thing at the wrong time, or in the wrong way.
From watching my own dear puppies fight, I can begin to see a small picture of what it must be like for God the Father to watch His dear children (Christians) fight their siblings! Fiona still has scabs all over her neck from the battles (Alice managed to get none).
We too, have battles, and we too often get hurt as well (emotionally, for some maybe even dare I say physically). If you take a look at the armour of God Eph. 6, you will quickly notice that all of the weaponry is frontal. What I mean is it is all to protect the front of you. Why you may ask…that’s because Roman soldiers (Paul’s inspiration for the armour of God) needed not be protected on their backs, because their comrades, those fighting by their sides, were to protect one another. Thus the statement “I got your back!”
You see we don’t have protection for our backs, they are exposed, perhaps this is why it stings SO badly, and also why it is so odd, when siblings turn and weild the sword against us (for some reason the battle of music comes to mind…probably because often Scripture is pitted against scripture in this battle!). What God must think when He sees this! Oh the wounds that should have never been there!
Sad thing is, our job as soldiers is to stand, not to advance (significance thing we always aim for and fight over). We are not to aim to gain ground but rather to keep the ground we have! But how hard that is when we begin to fight our comrades! We lose ground folks! And Satan gains it!!
So perhaps you are currently involved in a battle with another Christian. WE must remember we ARE SIBLINGS! We are all Children of God! We don’t need to fight for significance, God uses everyone and has gifted us all:
“Therefore I, the prisoner of the Lord, implore you to walk in a manner worthy of the calling with which you have been called, 2 with all humility and gentleness, with patience, showing tolerance for one another in love, 3 being diligent to preserve the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace. 4 There is one body and one Spirit, just as also you were called in one hope of your calling; 5 one Lord, one faith, one baptism, 6 one God and Father of all who is over all and through all and in all.
7 But to each one of us grace was given )according to the measure of Christ’s gift. 8Therefore it says,
“(When He ascended on high, He (led captive a host of captives, And He gave gifts to men.” Eph. 4:1-8
We are ONE! Did you catch that?? We all serve the same God! ONE GOD! We are to keep the unity! Did you catch that? We were all once the same: captive! Did you catch that? And what has God done? He has given us gifts! Just like Fiona and Alice were not the same, just like they had their own set of unique strengths and weaknesses, so too all Christians have their own unique strengths and weaknesses. But the same is true for all: we have all been given gifts! So use them! Don’t be envious of other’s gifts, be thankful to God for them!
Christ said we are to be known by our love for each other (other Christians). One of the greatest hinderances to the furthering of His Kingdom is the battles we fight with one another…it damages our testimony to the unsaved:
“By this all men will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another.” John 13:35
So perhaps today you need to mend a relationship with a sibling (spiritual) of yours? Does love need to cover it??:
“Above all, keep fervent in your love for one another, because love covers a multitude of sins.” 1 Peter 4:8
Do you need to forgive? Be forgiven? Whatever it is, above all you are to love:
“By this all men will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another.” John 13:35
I pray you were challenged as I have been!
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