Comfort zones

The water lapped the side of the boat so softly, much like a dog licking a wound. Slow and steady. I pushed, and pulled, in sync with the other followers of Jesus. We were in no hurry. The Master had dismissed the crowds, once we left shore, that much we could tell.  He told us to go on ahead. I had longed to stay with Him, but the look in His eyes and the way He had said for us to row to the other side, had told me the answer would be “no.” He must have had a reason for us to be rowing to the other side, but not a one of us had any kind of inkling as to what this could be.

But we have grown used to His peculiar ways and commands. I mean when I first met the Man, He told me to go out to where the water was deep and throw my net on the other side, the opposite from anything I had ever learned from in all my years out in a boat on the water fishing. I mean we always fished at night, and here He was asking me to fish in broad day light! The fish never bite then. Plus, couple that with the fact that I had fished all night long and had not even caught one fish! Not one! The man was crazy! But something in His eyes and the way He bid me to go set within my heart a desire to try. So I did, and to be honest I was blown away by what happened, because I had fully expected nothing to happen! Ever since that day, the day I left my nets and followed Jesus, He has done similar things over and over. Asking of myself and the others and the multitudes, the most bizarre things, but as He has said, He will use the foolishness of man to show forth the wisdom of God.

Come to think of it, that is always how God has worked.  I recall Gideon…fighting with only voices and lamps and so few numbers compared to the mass amount of enemy they faced? Or Moses, the man struggled with speaking and yet God called upon him to lead over a million people? What of David too? I mean, how does a shepherd boy, filthy, stinky, the runt of the family come to be a King of Israel? Foolishness of man to show the wisdom of God! I knew Jesus had some purpose in mind. Nothing made sense, and then He made sense of the nothing. I assumed this time would be no different.

“What do you think we will do once we get to the other side?” Matthew asked. Everyone kept rowing, a few shrugged their shoulders. “Who knows, it’s Jesus…” Thaddeus’ answer resonated with what we were all thinking. We went on rowing.

We had been rowing for quite a while when all the sudden, out of no where, the wind got stronger and switched directions. It was coming straight at us. We strained at the oars, trying to keep ourselves from capsizing. By this time we were so far from shore, we could no longer see it. Even with all twelve of us rowing, I will even admit that it was hard to row against this contrary wind and waves. We rowed all night long; it was exhausting and tiring work. We thought the night would never end.

Dawn. The sun had just crested over the hills. We had lasted through the night but now we were all exhausted. Suddenly I had felt that we were not going as fast, someone or two had stopped rowing. I look over my shoulder behind me and sure enough, Bartholomew and my own brother Andrew had quit rowing. It is amazing how much a difference even one or two people can make when they stop pulling their own weight in helping push the boat forward.

“Andrew! Bartholomew! Row! Don’t stop! We have to keep going or we will capsize and be lost to this sea! I bark as loud as I can, straining to be heard above the rage of this awful wind. They don’t even answer me. They just point straight to their right. They were stunned to silence. I follow their pointing fingers and see what they see.

“Men, look!” at my startled words the rest stop rowing.. “It’s a ghost!” Judas stammers, eyes wide, as he attempts to jump into the angry sea. Matthew grabs him. “I don’t think it’s a ghost.” But before I can even voice my opinion the man walking on water booms out “Take courage! It is I! Do not be afraid.”

I rubbed my eyes, just to be sure. I mean we had been rowing all night with no sleep…I was spent, so I could very well be imagining Jesus walking on water. Nope, He was still there.

“Lord if it’s really You, then tell me to come to you on the water.” Perhaps I really did not think He would really command me to do it…perhaps I wanted to know His power could work through a lowly person such as myself…because I know it would not be anything of my own doing that would cause me to walk on water. Whatever the reason, I threw that out there. The other disciples gasped, and I could tell they thought me to be mad. Before I could even agree with them or take what I said to Jesus back, Jesus simply said “come.”

I didn’t hesitate. Whenever He told me to do something, I did it. I hoisted myself over the side of the boat. As my feet hit the water and did not sink, a nervous laugh escaped my mouth. I started out toward Jesus. One step at a time… it was so surreal. He was smiling at me, much like a father does to his child who has just learned to walk. He was proud of me. I walked a bit faster. I was within reach of Him now.  I looked away from Him for just a second, that’s all it took. I looked down at my feet, amazed at how this was even happening. That’s when I noticed the wind…and what it was doing to the waves around me. Suddenly fear struck into my heart. It swelled like the waves around me. Fear…Gripping…terrorizing…it immobilized me. I began sinking. As my body sank and the water rose up around me, I did the only thing I knew best to do “Lord save me!” I shouted. Immediately His hand reached out and grabbed mine. He said something next, I will never forget “you of little faith, why did you doubt?”

I didn’t have to tell Him, He knew why. He wasn’t asking me for His sake, He was asking me, for my sake. This had been a test…I had failed and He wanted me to examine and know what caused it. FEAR. I knew it…He knew it.

Fear. It is such a common thing and a very human thing. All throughout Scripture, God and His angels say to people “fear not” or “don’t be afraid.” Why? Well interactions with angels would be just creepy because they are out of this world. But also because life is full of fear. I am afraid of SO many things at all times of my life. You could probably spout off easily ten things you fear right now. Fear motivates us, moves us, numbs us, immobilizes us, stops us, and makes us go forward. The Bible says fear is not something that God gives us 2 Timothy 1:7.  If it is not something of God then we can know it is something of sin and the Father of Lies himself: Satan.

In fact, I believe in the Garden of Eden, before the fall, there was no such thing as fear. Just like there was no such thing as guilt. When you think about it, once sin entered fear and guilt did also (among other things). Everything we are afraid of has to do with sin. We fear death….death is a result of sin. We fear rejection…that is a result of sin. The list could go on and on. Fear is the absence of trust.

When I was asked to write about getting out of your comfort zone to minister to others, the first thing I thought of was the account of Peter walking on water. Peter got out of his “comfort zone.” He was used to boats, he fished in them. But to go out on the water…and not just swimming but walking on top? That’s crazy! But he did it. He got out of the boat.

 God calls us to do the same. He designed each of us with unique gifts, abilities, and personality traits. All of which can be used for His purposes and glory.

But sometimes He calls us “out of the boat” to do things that our personalities don’t really “fit.” I am an introvert, so for me this would be a speaking engagement or even sometimes something as simple as a phone call! There are only a handful of people that I am comfortable talking on the phone with and those are the ones I am super close to (husband, parents, siblings and maybe two friends). I mean I hate even calling to schedule doctor appointments for my kids! But God often asks of me, and ministry requires at times that I get out of my “boat” and do the hard thing. What kept the other disciples in the boat? Comfort and fear. There was comfort in the boat, and fear out on the water. When you think about it, those opportunities for ministry that scare us (it looks different for every person what these are) what is the thing that stops us or hinders us even when we choose to do them? Comfort and fear. There is comfort in not doing them, and fear of something or someone when we do them.

So my question to you today is when was the last time you “got out of the boat?”

Is Jesus telling you to “come”? If you are outside of the boat currently and are walking on the waves, are you keeping your eyes fixed on Jesus realizing that He is the One enabling you to do so? Or are you taking credit for yourself? Relying on yourself? Or relying on God? Are you focused on the wind and waves around you?

There are usually criticisms that come at us when we get out of the boat and do something out of our “norm.” It was completely NOT normal for a human being to walk on water. We always sink! Step into a tub, pool, or my personal favorite a hot tub and what happens? You sink. Laws of gravity. The wind and waves reminded Peter of this very fact. When we “get out of the boat”, and do something that is not normal for us, sometimes other people….but most often our own selves…tell us “we can’t do this.” And to be honest, they are right. We can’t. You see it is a faith thing. It was a faith thing for Peter. Yes, Peter himself could not walk on water, but the One he was walking to could and gave him the power to do so also.

 “Oh you of little faith.” Faith conquers fear. When we remember it is a work of God and that we are only mere instruments, then we will realize nothing is impossible for us to do, because it isn’t us doing it (John 15). So if you have stepped out of the boat, are you focused on the One who is giving you the ability?

I would love to see what “getting out of the boat” looks like for other Christ followers. So please, share in the comments what “getting out of the boat” looks like for you, or has looked like for you. How did God reveal His power through you?

I crave and thrive on behind the scenes duties: nursery, kitchen, and cleaning are my favorite ways of service and these are services that just come naturally for me. I also enjoy one on one counseling opportunities, and small group bible study and teaching young children (the older they are the less and less comfortable it is for me). Those are my “boat” ministries, where I am comfortable.  But nursing home ministry, speaking to a crowd, phone calls, or special music…those are all “getting out of the boat” ministries for me. Ministries where there is no denying, that truly was/is ALL of God!  What are yours?

To Hear or See God?? Which do you want?

If I had a penny for every time someone has said to me “yes I want to read my bible and pray more but I just don’t have time, I am too busy” I would literally be a millionaire by now! I have heard this over and over. In fact when I do hear it, I just want to shake the person and say “You have believed a lie!! it is not that you don’t have time or that you are too busy, it is that God and your relationship to Him is NOT important enough.” EESH! That sounds so harsh…cold…and something we would never ever in our pride admit to. But if we were honest with ourselves and before God, we would readily agree with that statement.

The beauty of that ugly sentence is this: when we do admit that God is not as important as He should be to us, there is grace and mercy to greet us. God knows our frame…knows we are dust and that even though we are saved we still struggle with the flesh. The Spirit and the flesh war against each other so that you do not do the things that you wish:

  “For the flesh lusts against the Spirit, and the Spirit against the flesh; and these are contrary to one another, so that you do not do the things that you wish.” Gal. 5:17

A lot of times when God reveals a sin in my life…a wrong mindset…some way I am missing the mark and coming up short, my immediate reaction is to deny and or blameshift or just settle with “well that’s just who I am.” Ultimately though, all those reactions and answers to revealed sin are just me doing what humans have been doing since the first sin: trying to run/hide from sin. But when God reveals a sin in our lives, or a way we are coming up short it is because of His grace and mercy and He wants to help us to change. There is only mercy and grace and besides all of our sin is covered by the Blood of His precious Son Jesus.

There is NO need or reason to run, to hide, to blameshift. Own it, confess it, and be ready to be showered with the mercy and grace and strength to make it right and to change. We can do nothing in our own strength :John 15 …we need God! He will NOT be important to us, until we realize that His power is the only thing that will change our nasty self centered hearts to be beautiful God centered hearts. So are you struggling with one of the three key things (bible reading, prayer, attending church). Admit it, admit to God that He is not important enough to you and that is why you haven’t been doing ____ (fill in the blank). Confess it, and ask Him to cultivate in you a hunger for Himself that would drive you to His Word, to His lifeline (prayer) and to His people (church).

All the preliminaries aside, I want to dig a bit deeper into this whole “intimacy with God/Christ” thing. Is it really enough to just attend church twice a week, pray and read our Bibles everyday? Is that all there is to intimacy with God/Christ? Can it really be just boiled down to that? Are God’s Word, prayer and church the only places God reveals Himself to us? Or does His sovereignty and our journey with Him go beyond that? Are we missing the forest for the trees?

When we believe that intimacy with God/Christ only comes when we read the Word, pray and attend church we are putting God into our fancy little box. We have opened up our closet to Him, when He has asked for access to the whole house.

           

            My husband has only two cousins on his mom’s side. I have like 5 or 6 on each side. I know all of their names, birthdays and quite a bit about them. I even know some of my second cousins and all of their kids! So you think that knowing my husbands only two cousins on his mother’s side would be super simple right?

            There I was browsing through my facebook feed one day, when up popped a picture of one of his cousins. His mom had posted a picture of Carter and was congratulating him on graduating from college. I honestly did a double take. I was like “that’s odd because the picture is of Zachary, but she is congratulating Carter? His mom is clearly mixed up today! I better tell Josh and make sure he corrects his mother.”

Because clearly, I, who had only met these brothers once, knew them and knew which was which right?! Wrong!

After arguing (yes you read that correctly…I argued with my husband about which brother was which.) Josh finally helped me realize that I had the two mixed up. You see they both have red hair and brown eyes, but other than that everything else about them is completely different. Zachary (I hope I have this straight now) is short and super smart and very driven and knows what he is doing with his life. Carter on the other hand is much bigger and is not really sure what he is doing with his life other than working at a restaurant and partying. I thought I knew them. I thought I knew which was which, in fact I spent four almost five years of our marriage thinking and believing that Carter was Zachary and Zachary was Carter!

 Praise the Lord it was my husband who helped me before I was able to make a complete fool out of myself. And my mind was blown again when recently I learned that they are twins!! I learn new things about these crazy cousins I have only met once ALL. The. Time!

But that is because I met them once, and everything about them I have learned from other people (or I conjured up in my own mind what and who I thought they were).

 I am going to propose that many of us do that with God. We meet Him (come to Christ), but then we live off the shoulders of the faith of others. We listen to what others think/know about God and accept it, never really knowing Him for ourselves. We know He is Jehovah Jireh (God Who provides) because the Bible tells us and because we have seen Him provide for others, but have we experienced Jehovah Jireh ourselves?

            Have we ever had a need that only God could fill and watched as He filled it down to the last dollar, or item? After just 6 months of wedded bliss my husband and I found ourselves homeless and living at the church my husband was pastoring. You talk about Jehovah Jireh! He provided a home for us 3 months after we moved into the church. That was 3 months of us praying and asking God to direct us to and provide us with a shelter to call home. And we saw Him do it! We also came to the point where we were living off of 1000 dollars a month, and we had a our first little girl at the time. You talk about Jehovah Jireh?!?! We had two garage sales on two separate weekends. Both times we had a coming bill that next Monday that needed paid and  no money to pay it (living off of only 1000 a month). We prayed and sold items we could give up, and guess what?!? GOD PROVIDED the EXACT amount for the bills BOTH times! You talk about Jehovah Jireh!!!

Job talks of this very concept in Job 42:5:

“I have heard of You by the hearing of the ear,
But now my eye sees You.”

This was what Job said after all his troubles and after God put him through the ringer with questions like : “Where were you when I created the earth?”

What Job is saying here, is that he though he knew God. He was a religious man, the Bible talks of him making sacrifices.

He no doubt listened to story after story about God and what people up to that point knew of God. But it was all heresy. He did not know God for himself. And that’s where all his trials and troubles come into play. Trials and troubles in our lives happen for a plethora of reasons.

 But one KEY reason that is always true no matter what we face is that it is an opportunity for us to know God for ourselves. What Job was saying here is that he had heard whispers of God, he had heard of God by eavesdropping on another’s conversation with Him, but now his eyes saw God for himself.

When I miscarried, a lot of things went through my mind, but the biggest was shock. I could not believe the God I had “known” my whole life would allow this to happen. I miscarried super early on (4-5 weeks along maybe sooner). This kind of thing happens all.the.time and many women do not even know it. I knew it because I started feeling sick and so I took a test. WHY GOD?!?! Why did you make it so that I would feel sick and take a test? Why couldn’t I just be like many other countless ladies who lose a child and blissfully mistakes it as a period? Why did I have to know? I didn’t want to know because I didn’t want to believe that the God I had known was allowing this to happen to me. I wanted to continue on in my blissful relationship with Him. Where woes didn’t touch me and I could enjoy roses without the thorns.

            Now, looking back, I am so thankful He allowed me to know. That He got my attention and called me to a deeper walk with Him. I, up to that point had never questioned God. When bad stuff happened I just knew and trusted in God. That miscarriage rocked my world though. Suddenly I doubted the God I had always known. The temptation to see Him as a little boy on  an ant hill with a magnifying glass burning ants for fun suddenly became an all to real temptation!

But that was how God called me closer. That was God helping to open my eyes and see a new side of Him, a beautiful and yet painful side of Himself. Something I had only heard of before but now saw with my own eyes.

            Months after the miscarriage, I had just put my oldest to bed. I had made cookies earlier in the day and I had specifically saved her the paddle with cookie dough on it. She LOVES cookie dough (who doesn’t?). And I, in my great love and delight in her, wanted her to have it. Sadly, she refused to eat her supper. She was super upset about it, but dug her heals in and refused to eat her supper, so she forfeited the privilege of getting that paddle with cookie dough all over it. Later on, she had forgotten all about it. I prayed with her and tucked her into bed. As I was shutting the door to her room, my heart just ached. I had so wanted to give her that paddle, to watch her delight in the cookie dough that she loves. When our kids delight in something it just sparks something in us the parents doesn’t it? That is when it hit me. When God reveled more of Himself to me.

“Bethany, you had wanted another child after Miriam so bad. You longed for it, prayed daily for it. I heard. I saw. I knew. I wanted to give you another blessed child, but my daughter  I could not. Just as you could not give Miriam that paddle tonight because she had to learn a lesson about eating what is put before her. So you had to learn some lessons. You had to learn the hard way many many things. I had to get your attention somehow, and that was the only way. And my daughter, the pain you feel now because you could not give Miriam the paddle, is only a tiny picture of the pain I had when I couldn’t give you a child, when I had to call Simeon home!”

Tears streamed down my face. That is where I finally knew God as my Father. I am not going to claim that I heard all of that audibly, but I definitely heard that within my own heart. You see, our relationship with God is NOT limited to bible reading, prayer and attending church. It is SO much more than that! God is everywhere present all the time and He is sovereign over ALL of creation! He is working in and through our lives constantly. Not just when we read our bible for 5 minutes in the morning…or when we sit down and pray…or when we attend church on Sunday morning. NO! God is working all the time.

So do you know God only through what others have said (the Bible) or are saying (sermons/books/bible study etc.). Are you living on the shoulders of another’s faith? Or are you getting to know God for yourself? Have you opened up your mind, heart and eyes to see His hand in the everyday mundane things of life. Do you know Him for Who He is only because you have heard He is such, or have you SEEN Him for yourself?